Tolerance for Extreme Extremists

The Westboro Baptist Church is in the news--again--this time to protest the victims of a U.S. army wife who shot her two children. 

A fringe minority like the Westboro Baptist Church could never form among my people.  Or rather, if it did form, it would keep its mouth shut and try to be invisible.  If it irritated more than half of our population, the Torth Majority would pass a new law ordering every member of the cult to be whipped, caned, and buried alive.  As the Commander of All Living Things, I would dispassionately do my civic duty and ensure that the law is enforced.

The Torth live by a simple yet elegant edict: Majority rules.  Our moral code and laws are chosen according to what the majority of our population wants.  Since we're mind readers, all of our votes are instantaneous.  No hyperbole, no double-speak, no hypocrisy, no lies.  Even the most powerful politician among us--that would be me, the Commander of All Living Things--must abide by the will of the Torth Majority.  I can't become a mad dictator.  The Majority would tear me down at the first hint of madness.  I assure you, I am perfectly, 100% sane, and a model citizen among my people.

I can't help but sneer at your pathetic Westboro Baptist Church and the general tolerance you show by fighting its weak little protests with weak little counter-protests.  Ha!


  1. I was wondering, how are the votes counted, exactly? Instantaneous voting sounds confusing!

  2. Good question, Quine. Our votes are more like electric impulses than spoken words or score cards. The Majority vote always makes itself "felt," unless it is a very close race. In that case, we do more localized counts, then tally them up.

    In the rare case of a tie--an issue that the Majority swings back and forth on--my people might argue for decades. That is part of the reason why they elect a leader such as myself. When decisive action is needed, and the Majority can't reach a concensus, then my decision breaks the tie.