6/3/12

Queen's Diamond Jubilee

I am mystified by your monarchies.  Why do humans claim to treasure freedom, yet support this form of government?  Why is the western world's favorite royal family always a top news story?  A homeless zombie-man ate another man's face, but that news got pushed to second and third page news to make room for the grinning Queen Elizabeth and her expensive party, celebrating 60 years on the throne of England.

It seems to me that most humans want to be ruled.  You want certain kinds of freedom, but only the kind of freedom that a dog gets when its owner takes it to the dog park to play with other dogs.  You want freedom from responsibility, freedom from worry, and freedom to make individual choices.  You don't want freedom from being owned.  The only time you humans get up in arms about a dictator or monarch is when s/he removes your other freedoms, the ones that you do want.

There seems to be a small faction among you who are cognizant of this fact, and favor the removal of any dictator or monarch, no matter how benign and lovable that monarchy is purported to be.  The founding fathers of the United States of America understood this.  But this awareness is not universal to the human species.  It seems more like a special awareness, intrinsic to only a few among the masses.  The vast majority of humans want to be ruled, as long as that ruler is kind and just and good, or just ignores you and does nothing whatsoever.

As the Commander of All Living Things, I automatically rule you all, since you are living things.  And right now, I am your ideal ruler, for I don't interfere with your lives at all.  If humanity was aware of My existence, you would no doubt worship Me as a goddess.  I am powerful, all-knowing, and I have absolutely no measurable effect on your planet or in your puny little human lives.

In that respect, I am much like the diamond jubilee Queen of England.

I like the idea of celebrating the twelfth year of My reign with some sort of celebration.  Maybe I'll instruct slaves to dance for My amusement.  Ponder this ... someday, you and your family might be the slaves forced to dance for My amusement.

3/19/12

Kim Dotcom

I just want to say that Kim Dotcom would make an excellent Torth.  Like any good Torth, he is ruled by ambition, and he is a master of slave psychology.  And we value smart people who look like super-villains.  I especially admired how he bribed the government of New Zealand to overlook his failure to pass their "Good Character Test" for residency in their country.  That is exactly what I would have done, in his situation.

Now I will leave you to ponder the merits of internet piracy by reading this comic.