Queen's Diamond Jubilee

I am mystified by your monarchies.  Why do humans claim to treasure freedom, yet support this form of government?  Why is the western world's favorite royal family always a top news story?  A homeless zombie-man ate another man's face, but that news got pushed to second and third page news to make room for the grinning Queen Elizabeth and her expensive party, celebrating 60 years on the throne of England.

It seems to me that most humans want to be ruled.  You want certain kinds of freedom, but only the kind of freedom that a dog gets when its owner takes it to the dog park to play with other dogs.  You want freedom from responsibility, freedom from worry, and freedom to make individual choices.  You don't want freedom from being owned.  The only time you humans get up in arms about a dictator or monarch is when s/he removes your other freedoms, the ones that you do want.

There seems to be a small faction among you who are cognizant of this fact, and favor the removal of any dictator or monarch, no matter how benign and lovable that monarchy is purported to be.  The founding fathers of the United States of America understood this.  But this awareness is not universal to the human species.  It seems more like a special awareness, intrinsic to only a few among the masses.  The vast majority of humans want to be ruled, as long as that ruler is kind and just and good, or just ignores you and does nothing whatsoever.

As the Commander of All Living Things, I automatically rule you all, since you are living things.  And right now, I am your ideal ruler, for I don't interfere with your lives at all.  If humanity was aware of My existence, you would no doubt worship Me as a goddess.  I am powerful, all-knowing, and I have absolutely no measurable effect on your planet or in your puny little human lives.

In that respect, I am much like the diamond jubilee Queen of England.

I like the idea of celebrating the twelfth year of My reign with some sort of celebration.  Maybe I'll instruct slaves to dance for My amusement.  Ponder this ... someday, you and your family might be the slaves forced to dance for My amusement.


Kim Dotcom

I just want to say that Kim Dotcom would make an excellent Torth.  Like any good Torth, he is ruled by ambition, and he is a master of slave psychology.  And we value smart people who look like super-villains.  I especially admired how he bribed the government of New Zealand to overlook his failure to pass their "Good Character Test" for residency in their country.  That is exactly what I would have done, in his situation.

Now I will leave you to ponder the merits of internet piracy by reading this comic.


Female Abortion

The Wall Street Journal seems to be publishing a lot of brainless editorials lately.  Take The War Against Girls, for instance.  Editorialist Jonathan V. Last writes, "Even more unexpectedly, the decision to abort baby girls is usually made by women—either by the mother or, sometimes, the mother-in-law."  

Well, gosh.  Really, what a shocker.  Women in developing nations are more likely to decide to abort than their husbands, fathers, or boyfriends.  Gee, I wonder why.  Could it possibly be because women in developing nations actually know what a tough life their daughter might face?  To the men, a girl might have sexual or economic uses (they can pimp her for money).  The women think it through all the way; they know exactly what quality of life their little girl might face in Azerbaijan or China.  They choose to abort with that knowledge in mind.  They aren't thinking in terms of the big picture, or global economics.  They are thinking in terms of their own situation.

Then Mr. Last has the hubris to write: "This is where choice leads. This is where choice has already led. Ms. Hvistendahl may wish the matter otherwise, but there are only two alternatives: Restrict abortion or accept the slaughter of millions of baby girls and the calamities that are likely to come with it."

Sure. Go ahead and make a global law that forbids abortion based on gender.  You're going to create a lot of miserable little girls born into awful situations with no escape.

Abolish sexism first.  THEN you'll have the right to forbid abortion based on gender.


Clarification about commanding all living things.

Today, someone emailed me a semi-intelligent question.  Here it is:

If you command all living things, then how come I've never heard of you?
- Alan from MN

The fact is, Alan from MN, that having godlike authority over all lifeforms does not allow one to micromanage.  I don't know the intimate details of every individual blade of grass, baobab tree, llama, gnat, or human on this world you call Earth.  This galaxy is rife with planets with lifeforms--a few have even more variety than yours--and that would be an awful lot to keep track of, even for a being as close to omniscient as myself.  I manage things at the upper level only.  I delegate.  If I decide that a certain lifeform should a do a particular thing, I send one of my Torth minions to threaten it with death, or otherwise put pressure on it by threatening its children or mate, or I'll simply to kill it.  My power is my authority.  That is why I am the Commander of All Living Things.

When the Torth Majority decides to enslave every human on Earth, I will command the operation.  When that happens . . . you still will never have heard of me.  I will command your enslavement, and I could do whatever I wanted with you, then: I could consign you to a breeding farm, or put you among my personal slaves, or assign you to toil in hard physical labor until you die of exhaustion.  But I don't care if you never meet me in person or hear my title spoken out loud.  Fame is unnecessary for my job.  Very few slaves among the trillions in the conquered universe would actually recognize my face.  I only need to be known and obeyed among the Torth.

I hope that answers your question.  Have a pleasant day.